Wednesday, 14 January 2009

The Fart and Flatulence

The Fart and Flatulence


Flatulence is a serious problem with many people when they eat food from the legumes. Regular eating of these types of food can reduce the fart effect they can often induce. Flatulence is also an inconvenient and disagreeable side result of the Cabbage Soup Diet.



In the short term, flatulence is an inconvenience; in the long run it may promote disease (it is a mildly toxic gas, after all). Flatulence is a term used to describe a condition in which emission of a mixture of gases known as 'flatus' takes place.



It is the symbiotic bacteria and yeasts that are present in the gastrointestinal tract that lead to the production of these gases.



Live Oooops! during Yoga Workout Recording Session







Flatulence as a common side-effect of all beans (including soy), was first publicized in the movie 'Blazing Saddles'. The formation of the fart gas is due to the bowel bacteria fermenting and the effect this has upon the indigestible sugars contained within beans. Humans do not normally possess the enzyme alpha-galactosidase necessary to break down the sugars that the bowel bacteria feast upon and produce gas.



In other words for the more chemically literate of us, flatulence is caused by the absence of enzymes in our systems to break down the trisaccharides (complex sugars) in beans into simple sugar. The undigested trisaccharides are acted upon in the lower intestine by the bacteria that reside there, producing carbon dioxide gas, or flatulence.




Flatulence is quite a problem to some. Let's say that for the sake of discussion the family dog is the culprit? We pay for our indigestion by sacrificing some of our mental acuity, immunity, energy, and longevity. Flatulence is basically the accumulation of gas in the gastrointestinal tract.



A fart arises from the presence of a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals that are by-products of the digestion process. Beans are loaded with it. And, as far as it's laxating/gaseous effects go, I'm not sure that people are aware of this, but America (and Europe) has had a great deal of experience with laxating ingredients. But, despite this problem don't give up the beans!



Beans are an excellent source of protein, potassium, folate, and fiber. Lentils, dried split peas, and beans - black, kidney, garbanzo, cannellini, pinto, and others, are inexpensive and delicious!



The word "fart" is generally considered unsuitable for polite use in a formal environment by modern English speakers, and it may be considered vulgar or offensive in some situations.



Flatulence is often blamed as a significant source of greenhouse gases owing to the erroneous belief that the methane released by livestock is in the flatus. While livestock account for around 20% of global methane emissions, 90-95% of that is released by exhaling or burping.



Healthy people produce from 6 to 64 ounces of flatus daily. In most cases, flatulence is normal and the gas has no odor.



Instead of my getting upset about those that enjoy their farts and inflict them on others, just lay down the rules and enforce them if the behavior is seen in your children. If you cannot change their behavior though, have a good laugh with them, and relax about it!



Thanks, Steve for this article refreshing subject, and indeed I know that you have been guilty of the odd funny fartyourself! Go there to that site now! Its it all about the fun of the video fart.

Fart Gadgets for Laughs and Other Thoughts on Farting

There are Gadgets for Funny Fart Laughs?!


The most famous fart gadget is the whopper cushion which is a rubber bladder that is designed to sound just like a fart if buried under a cushion on an easy chair. The victim of the gag sits down completely unaware of the stunt about to be pulled upon them while a fully inflated whoopee cushion rests in place beneath them.



This fart gadget has been around and for sell for probably 100 years, but it always raises a laugh with young people.



It's a Kelly Ripa!







Another great fart gadget allows you press a remote button and set off one of 15 different fart sounds from up to 100 feet away!



This is the greatest gag gift ever made - just hide the 3" battery powered speaker on or near the vicinity of someone, press the remote button that is small enough to keep in your pocket, and watch the embarrassment begin! Press the remote button and set off one of 15 different fart sounds!



The gag works like this, simply hide the little speaker, then from up to 100 feet away, press the included remote, and the hidden speaker lets out one of 15 disgusting fart sounds.




Gassy food is frequently eaten and junk food can be particularly so. Some people are able to absorb and tolerate the gas they produce better than others. Gas released mostly has a foul odor which mainly results from butyric acid (rancid butter smell) and sulfur compounds such as hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and carbon disulfide that are the result of protein breakdown.



A fart is unfairly considered a sign of indigestion and disease (A misconception. Perfectly normal bodies routinely pass wind, even when not suffering from indigestion.), the sound of a fart is reminiscent of shitting (which is distasteful to most people), and the fart may be smelly, which, especially in close quarters, is quite distressing and distasteful for almost everybody.



Actually, in more genteel circles they are called breaking wind. Breaking wind sounds much classier. Other terms for it are intestinal gas, stomach gas, bloating, and flatulence



Laughing at a fart, whatever you call it is said by some not to be a sign of immaturity; instead it can be viewed as the litmus test for a rich and well developed sense of humor.



For another and final laugh, have you heard the fart song? Everyone around here thinks the fart song is the greatest thing in the world.



Finally, let us just say that if you have been embarrassed about a fart, loosen up! Everyone farts (and barfs, breaks up, gets fired, gets laid! - it is part of life): we can ignore it, attempt to make meaning out of it, or laugh at it like we did when we were kids in the back seat.



Methane lays claim to the distinction of being the world's only performing flatulist. Methane lays claim to the distinction of being the world's only performing flatulist.



Gas falls out of me a lot. I'm always praying "oh God, not now! Game is divided on 4 tiers. That is I believe 10 levels per tier.



Car nut - as I hate working on cars (too much time doing that with my first car and I swore never again). I like to drive em hard and that's about it. Carbonated drinks give a person extra gas. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines.




The fart that can make you enemies or can make the joker of the office. The FART shirt is a great example of concept to execution failure. It's a beautiful, elegant concept, but when you lay it out on a mannequin, a huge percentage of viewers see FART due to the placement of the lettering. The fart�s intensity was somewhere between one of those silent stinkers that people are often in denial about and one of those noisy rattlers, reminiscent of a distant motorboat, that can be heard in an adjacent room. In volume, it was perhaps a few decibels; in odor, it lingered around long enough to require a slight crack of the window.



The fart tax is a subset of the carbon tax which needs to be abolished as a whole. The FartBox is a fun application loaded with dozens of fart sounds. It turns your iPhone a hilarious way. THe fart applications (not just one but the combination of them all) make an average of over $10,000 a month. This just reinstates the fact that I do not feel that we are in a recession if people can spend $10,000 a month on a digital whoppie cushion.



The fart brings so much joy to everyone's lives. Who amongst us has not laughed at a particularly loud toot?



Your author for this funny fart: article is not beyond the odd laugh when he hears about the idea of fartology, and a funny fart: due to the involuntary expulsion of biogas.